Helpmeet

Random picture from my flower garden just because they are so cheery and pretty! 

I should have written this blog back in February, when it was fresh in my mind and I had a lot of thoughts to go with it. I went to a Women's Conference at church and our Stake President, President Kelley, gave a talk on what it means to be a helpmeet. He said the root of the Hebrew word in Genesis, "Azar", means a strength, or to succor. He concluded it was similar to being a savior. Eve was a strength to Adam, not simply someone to stand there and look helpful, a real strength, and equal, a protector. I remember talking to a friend afterwards who heard the talk very differently then I did. She felt it was hard as a single woman to hear a talk about how married woman are saviors in their families. 

I actually had a totally different perspective. President Kelley said in the Austin Texas Stake, 70% of the LDS households have no priesthood holders. He was speaking to the audience made up of those very households. A room full of woman made up of many who are single, widowed, divorced, and married, both happily or otherwise. I took that to be evidence that helpmeet is not just a title for those with “eternal companions” but for every woman. I felt that the focus of the talk was on what it means for a woman to fulfill her divine role as a savior, not just what the role of a wife is.

 Being a helpmeet is a quality that all women, married or single, can have. I see all around me women who rescue and sacrifice, and provide strength for  those all around them.  At first I started to write down in my notes- “pray that I can be a helpmeet and find my equal companion” and almost instantly the Spirit whispered, you already are a helpmeet. That is where I spent the rest of the meeting in my thoughts.  How am I a helpmeet? Who around me exemplifies this quality? Eve was created as a helpmeet, and as a woman, my inheritance is to wear the crown of being a helpmeet. In my immediate family, my extended family, in my ward family, and in my association with friends, I can be a savior, a rescuer, and a strength. It is by divine design. President Kelley's encouragement was to go magnify this quality in our homes, our wards, and community. 

My mother is an example to me of a helpmeet. She sends out a weekly email to her entire family journaling her week. It's not the details of her week that is important, it is the act of trying to keep us all connected. She is a savior. She adds strength to the family by her love and encouragement. She sends out birthday cards to over 80 family members each year. She keeps in touch with her parents, siblings,nieces, and nephews, and several still call her for advice when they are having a bad day. She has been a strength and a savior in my life too. Just recently I locked my keys in my car outside a patient's home. I was 40 minutes away from her work. She left work early, drove to meet me, only to discover that her supply of extra key copies didn't actually include a key to my car. After calling roadside assistance and being told it would be an hour and fifteen minute wait, my mother offered to sit in the shade while I took her car to go see one final patient for the day, and waited for the Roadside guy. Luckily she was rewarded with only a 20 minute wait before the guy showed up. 

Never-the-less, mom saved me that day.  

Christmas 1981

2014 Trip to Salvador Brazil

My new house 2016

Squatting homemade chocolate chip cookies 

Her recent trip to Scotland, she makes the best poses! 

My gym buddy after all these years! 

Love hanging out together. 

Some other excellent examples of helpmeets in my life are every single one of the women in this photo. 

They work with me in the Primary (children's ministry) at church.  Every Sunday is a marathon. I always feel like I "just barely survived", but these woman thrive in the chaos and never skip a beat!  The schedules they keep with work, and school, and their families never ceases to amazing me. 

And finally there is this woman, she is an example of a helpmeet,  specifically to her husband and to her children.  

She recently researched healthy smoothies and makes them for her husband who is trying to change his eating habits. He is a rock star on his own as he gets up in the pre-light hours and studies for CPA exams, and she is his equal opposite and helpmeet. She is an example of a helpmeet savior because she so lovingly takes her role as a mother as a serious call to teach, to create memories, and provide experiences. She makes being a mom of a type one diabetic look effortless, although I know it takes fortitude and strength. 

I'm so grateful for my new perspective on helpmeet, viewing it in light of a divine call to surround, protect, aid, help, succor, and save. And I'm grateful to the women who exemplify it in my life, not just by their role as a wife, but by their role as women. 

Here is a blog I found backing up the definition of the root of the word azar: 

https://godswordtowomen.org/help.htm

HELP

Strong's # 5828 (Hebrew = ezer) aid: -- help
Strong's Root = # 5826 (Hebrew = azar)  azar = prime root: to surround, ie, protect or aid: help, succour
Gesenius adds that the primary idea lies in girding, surrounding, hence defending

MEET

(Hebrew = kenegdo) corresponding to, counterpart to, equal to matching

The traditional teaching for the woman as help (meet) is that of assistant or helper subservient to the one being helped. This definition would appear to line up with Strong's definition of the word. However, if you look at the context of every other use of the word ezer in the scripture, you will see that ezer refers to either God or military allies. In all other cases the one giving the help is superior to the one receiving the help. Adding kenegdo (meet) modifies the meaning to that of equal rather than superior status. Scripture is so awesome. God says just what He means.

Dr. Susan Hyatt gives the following definition from her book In the Spirit We're Equal "Re: Hebrew ezer kenegdo. In Genesis 2:18, the word "helpmeet" does not occur. The Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo appears, meaning "one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids, helps, supports." There is no indication of inferiority or of a secondary position in an hierarchical separation of the male and female "spheres" of responsibility, authority, or social position.

The word ezer is used twice in the Old Testament to refer to the female and 14 times to refer to God. For example, in the Psalms when David says, "The Lord is my Helper," he uses the word ezer."