Marriage and Family- Ordained of God.

Most of the Kelm Krew hiking the Narrows. A lot of self confidence oozing out of this bunch! 

Jocelyn, one of my hiking buddies. 

My first friend and cousin, along with her adorable baby girl

Mom and her great-niece

More cousins as we wait for the July 24th Firework Show.

Grandma and Grandpa H, True Blue! Go cougars!

How do we stay looking cute after a day of hiking? Guess we were just born that way. The one on the right is trouble, watch out for her and her hiking stick. She is my older sister, ok, my aunt. Love you JoAnn!

Partner in crime, Master of Goofiness, and the man who loves me more than any other man on earth!

Not my family, but a family waiting for a missionary to come home at the Salt Lake Airport. And the man holding a white sign to the left of the balloons was a random driver picking somebody up and planted himself in the middle of this family. He cracked me up.

Today I will teach a lesson from the President Ezra Taft Benson Manual titled "Marriage and Family- Ordained of God".  I will teach the Relief Society at church, it is the women's organization that meets for our third hour of church. I've been thinking about this lesson for weeks now. I've been pondering my approach to it as a single woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In a family-centered faith, many singles feel "singled out" so to speak and treated as if they are on the outside looking in. As much as I want to be a wife and a mother, and as heart-breaking as it is at times to wonder when that opportunity will come, my greatest joy in life comes from my family. I may not have a marriage, but I am working towards it. I am however in a family NOW. I am a sister, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a cousin, an aunt to both biological nieces and nephews and those "adopted" through years of friendship.  

So how does one prepare a lesson of such foundational importance? 

Eat a good breakfast, the most important meal of the day! Homemade crock-pot black beans, scramped egg, wheat tortilla, spinach, avocado, and feta, with a fresh raspberry/strawberry, banana smoothie. Yum!

set up shop with all your resources

make a good visual with your roll of butcher paper

and try not to get distracted by the beautiful backyard right outside your window.

Then the real work begins. The important thing for me in this lesson today is the "why" and "how" of having a strong marriage. I don't want to spend my time today informing a group of Latter-Day Saint women that getting married is a good idea.  President Benson said, 

"The family is one of God's greatest fortresses against the evils of our day. Help keep your family strong and close and worthy of our Father in Heaven's blessings." 

 I want to spend a moment focusing on never-been-married-singles, part-member families, or single-parents who may either roll their eyes at a lesson with this title, or who just might feel a whole lot of hurt boiling up inside them.   I found three quotes that helped me better see my role and responsibilities and that give me comfort.

Sister Barbara Thompson, former counselor in the General Relief Society, gave a talk titled "I Will Strengthen Thee, I Will Help Thee." (click here to view)  She told the following account.  


-->

"I was in the Tabernacle when President Gordon B. Hinckley first delivered the proclamation on the family at the general Relief Society meeting in September of 1995. That was a great occasion. I felt the significance of the message. I also found myself thinking, “This is a great guide for parents. It is also a big responsibility for parents.” I thought for a moment that it really didn’t pertain too much to me since I wasn’t married and didn’t have any children. But almost as quickly I thought, “But it does pertain to me. I am a member of a family. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, and a granddaughter. I do have responsibilities—and blessings—because I am a member of a family. Even if I were the only living member of my family, I am still a member of God’s family, and I have a responsibility to help strengthen other families."

In April 2015 General Conference, Elder D. Todd Christofferson said the following in an address titled "Why Marriage, Why Family" (click here) , 

-->

"To declare the fundamental truths relative to marriage and family is not to overlook or diminish the sacrifices and successes of those for whom the ideal is not a present reality. Some of you are denied the blessing of marriage for reasons including a lack of viable prospects, same-sex attraction, physical or mental impairments, or simply a fear of failure that, for the moment at least, overshadows faith. Or you may have married, but that marriage ended, and you are left to manage alone what two together can barely sustain. Some of you who are married cannot bear children despite overwhelming desires and pleading prayers.

Even so, everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation. Much that is good, much that is essential—even sometimes all that is necessary for now—can be achieved in less than ideal circumstances. So many of you are doing your very best. And when you who bear the heaviest burdens of mortality stand up in defense of God’s plan to exalt His children, we are all ready to march. With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children."

And finally in September 2011 in a CES address Sister Kristen Oaks said the following in a address titled "To the Singles of the Church" (click here) ,

-->

"Truth number five: All singles should remain active members of the Church. In a family-centered Church you may sometimes doubt you have a place—nothing could be further from the truth. Every individual counts. Never forget the plan of salvation is in full effect for everyone, single or married. You do not stand alone. To quote Sister Julie Beck, “We did not fight a war in heaven to be single eternally. We did not sign up for only part of the program. We signed up for the whole plan—to make covenants, to be sealed eternally and have posterity in the eternities. We do not abandon true principles while we are waiting for our blessings.”²

Brothers and sisters, we are not waiting alone. The Lord is aware of us. He knows each one of us individually. He not only hears our prayers, He knows our anguish, our fears, our trials, our triumphs—He is beside us. We need only call on Him, and He will be with us.

Having faith doesn’t mean you will be filled with joy and conviction every moment. Having faith means you keep persisting and believing that the blessing and comfort lie ahead—and I testify to you they do. The Lord desires that we draw near to Him, and in His own time and His own way He will draw near to us."

 

The rest of the lesson I'll give will be focused on discussion from the Benson manual itself. (click here for link to the lesson).  I highlighted what I call attributes of a strong MARRIAGE and a strong FAMILY.  I can't wait to see how the discussion goes as we enlighten each other with personal stories of how we are striving to build the "greatest fortresses against the evils of our day".  

  I am so grateful for the family I was blessed with. I'm grateful for opportunities to love and serve them. I'm grateful for the support they give me.  I believe that it is within families we can grow closer to God. 

President Benson said, "The love we know here is not a fleeting shadow, but the very substance that binds families together for time and eternity". 

I know these things to be true!  

**** Post lesson addition added after the original posting of this blog: 

We discussed in Relief Society successes in raising children and how to have happy families and strong families. If you have a story of how you strive for happy marriages and ways you teach your children in the home, please share in comments on this post.