I've spent the last 3 days contemplating my assignment in the Austin Stake as the mid-singles representative. I've had a lot of conversations with a variety of perspectives from single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My questions have been what are your needs as a single member of the church? are they being met? and, if not what could be done to meet those needs? My knee-jerk reaction to many woes and negative perspectives of the difficulties of life is to say buck up! Loose yourself! Take responsibility for your own happiness! I'm trying to learn compassion for those that have a different perspective and life experiences from my own. Being single in a family-centered church is hard, but so is being married. The problems aren't more or less for married or single Latter-Day Saints, they are just different.
Some singles feel they have been cheated out of something in life because they are not married.
Some singles feel they can't make friends in a ward because people think they are weird.
Some singles feel slighted because nobody comes to sit by them at church.
Some singles love teaching their primary class each week and learning from 6 year olds.
Some singles are the DJ for the monthly Youth dances and get to teach teenagers why although a song contains no profanity it can still be inappropriate.
Some singles don't attend a Friday game night with other singles because they volunteered to babysit so a friend could have a much needed date night with her husband.
Some singles don't attend ward singles family home evening groups because they are in charge of bringing the treat to the family home evening of a family in their ward, and next week they are in charge of the lesson for another family's home evening.
Some singles cringe at the term "Single's Program" because it makes them feel like they are something broken that needs to be fixed, and yet they find their life very satisfying.
Some married people feel cheated out of something in life because their husband stopped coming to church.
Some married people feel they can't make friends in a ward because their crying 6 month old won't let her go to Sunday School or Relief Society each week and she has to stay in the hallway.
Some married people feel slighted because nobody comes to sit by them at church.
Some married people love it when a friend offers to watch their children so they can go out for the evening and have adult conversation.
Some married people don't talk to the new ward member because they have 4 kids to get off to primary, then a lesson to teach in young womens and wish they could meet a new face because they could sure use a friend.
Single people don't have the market on feeling lonely and left out, and
being happy ever after is not specific to married people.
What I have learned in all my contemplations is that healthy involvement in a ward, where love, compassion, and forgiveness is both given and received, people don't divide by marital status. Needs are met, lives are blessed, and spiritual, emotional, and social needs take care of themselves. At least that is what we should be striving for in living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We all have a long way to go, but I believe a huge part of the answer is found in serving/being served in a loving ward. Am I making this sound too simple? Perhaps, but I still think it is the key. The key to change, progress, and growth, and I am going to keep trying to figure out my role as a mid-singles rep can use this nugget of insight to bring about substantial change.
Hopefully that helped empty enough thoughts from my head so that I can now to to bed and get some sleep!
