Hard thing to do

Yesterday I didn't mention my back at all. I have been having pain for about 8 months now in my lower back. I've been seeing a chiropractor for 5 of those 8 months. I thought that was the answer- x-rays showed my neck was off, slight curve in my lower back, and hips off. Well, all that is much straighter, my alignments are holding, and my strength is up. Good news right? Well, the pain hasn't changed, and in fact is has gotten worse. It almost feels like more stiffness than pain. For those who know medical terms, it is at my L5 and my illiosacral joint is getting adjusted. One theory is that I possible strained a ligament, meaning I over stretched. It hurts the most when I go from sitting to standing, and standing to sitting. If I don't have support behind my back when I sit, I really have a hard time standing. I have rotated my mattress, taken off my mattress pillow topper, and I'm taking a multi-vitamin and omega 3 supplements and drinking anti-oxidant Acai juice. Some hamstring, IT-band, piriformis, and hip opener stretches seem to help for a moment or two. It seems as if I am stiff when I work out, but even stiffer when I don't, so I've continued to work out as much as I want to. Well, that lead to the "hard thing to do"...I'm going to tone it way down. I am banning myself from my weight class for a month and limit my cardio to light walking or elipitcal to get my blood flowing. In my Yoga class I teach I am going to take the lower options. I'm also going to talk to a P.T friend next week and see if she has any more suggestions or if I need to give in and take this to a doctor. My stubborn exercise obsessive head has been winning this ridiculous battle for months, time to listen to my body and slow down so it can heal. There will be time to be fit when my body is not in pain. On a spiritual note, patience is all that comes to mind when I've prayed about this. Kind of like I've been getting the answer- "you know what to do", all along. I'm posting this story so that maybe I will hold myself accountable to this decision. Surely I can turn the will power to run 50 minutes in to will power to take it easy. Wish me luck!

A Week of Firsts

This week has been week of many firsts. My first week of physical therapy school, seeing my first cadaver dissection, first time not crying during the first week of school,my first Chick-fil-a hand mixed shake purchased by my loving brother, my first time to win Peanuts, the first time falling off of the treadmill, and the first time since I was 4 that I am now the only child at home.

Some things are worth mentioning a bit more...

First week of school! I have never actually been excited to start school. I was so excited, I think I was actually a bit disappointed with the first day. You know, all the boring stuff like syllabus and grading procedures...I did see a video with a real cadaver dissection. Let me just say eeeuuu, yuck! A german with a black hat, round rimmed hat, and round glasses cut up a male body hung up by its head. (I swear he was the guy in Indian Jones searching for the lost arch who melts in the end.) First he skinned the body, and then he cut our the vertebral column to pull out the spinal cord from the neck, all the way down to the toe. Freaky! I think the thing I enjoyed the most was going over anatomical landmarks in my functional anatomy lab. See, I hated physiology because I couldn't see proton pumps and calcium flooding into muscles at the neuromuscular junction. (see what I mean- boring!) However with Anatomy you say- find your iliac crest on your pelvis- and that, I can feel and see on myself. There are enough areas of life where you have to go on faith. I like having a little part where seeing is believing. My semester is going to be a lot of work, but I think I'll have enough time to get good studying in and do just fine.

Trivial things...last week I reached a new height in my physical fitness. I ran for 4.5 miles, in 50 minutes. I did it twice last week. Today I did it again. It feels very good to know I have the endurance and will power to push myself. It hasn't been with out blood, sweat, and almost tears. Last week I got home from a run and dad asked why my shirt was bloody. Huh? Sure enough, my sports bra strap rubbed me raw and I bled clear through to my shirt without knowing. (I bet the people at blockbuster must have thought I was crazy.) Then today I stepped off the treadmill to see if the TV screen on another one was working. When I got back on I mis-stepped and got thrown to the ground. I wanted to cry, my arm hurt, scraped my side, and stubbed my toe...however, I got up, shook it off, and continued to run.

The boys left today. We are all praying the beloved red car makes the trip to Utah. Kind of strange to know it will be just my and the parents now. Not sure what that will mean, but it will be fun to see how dynamics of the home change or don't change.

Back to the world of studying. Bring on more firsts!

Endurance vs. Patience

I had a delightful discussion with a coworker about James 1:4. The King James version uses the word "Patience" and the NIV Bible uses persevere or endure. I love that verse, but patience has more meaning for me. It also says in patience we will be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

My coworker on the other hand likes the word endure.

I have been thinking since this morning about how she was drawn to the word "endurance" and I was drawn to "patience". It just shows how the Spirit can touch us in different ways and speak to our souls. God is defiantly mindful of us in a very individual way.

So I just spend some time looking at endurance vs. patience. In the dictionary both are nouns. Endurance is- the act or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving in; the capacity of something to last or withstand wear or tear. The topical guide in the bible says to also look up adversity, obedience, perseverance or steadfastness.

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. It has a Latin root meaning "suffering". The topical guide says to see also affliction or forbearance. Forbearance is patient self control, restraint, tolerance, or abstinence.

I think of enduring as something we actively do or bear. He have to keep doing it until the end reward is met. I think patience is restraining from doing something else and above all else waiting. We can endure well, endure patiently, or not endure at all.

I'll end this with some scriptures I found and really enjoyed.


Matt. 10:22- "he that endureth to the end shall be saved"

Mark 4:17- no root in themselves can only endure for a time when affliction or persecution arise.

John 6:27- "meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you".

2 Tim 4:5- watch thou in all things, endure afflictions

2 Tim 4:7-8- I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith...there is a laid up for me a crown of righteousness.

D&C 101:35-38- "And all they who suffer persecution for my name, and endureth in faith, though they are called to lay down their lives for my sake, yet shall they partake of all this glory. wherefore fear not, even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full...and seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life".

Ps 37:7- rest in the Lord, and wait patiently

Luke 21:19- "In your patience possess ye your souls"- possess is GR for preserve, win mastery over

Romans 2:7- patient continuance in well doing

Alma 7:23-24- "And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works."

Entering the world of Physical Therapy!

Yesterday was my orientation for the Physical Therapy Assistant program. I am very excited to get the next 2 years under way and see how much I will enjoy physical therapy. It was an eye opener of a day. I got to tour the two rooms that I will be spending much of my time till August, 2010. It made me realize that I really am going in to a medical profession. Who knew I'd end up here? Certainly not me! I signed a form saying I agree to be a human subject. This just means that in our labs we will all be practicing on each other. I even need to get a halter top so my shoulder and spine can be exposed for some labs. Guess this modest girl will need to go shopping! I also learned that in my second year of the program I will do 3 rounds of clinicals. This means that in the fall semester I will have class for 7 weeks, work for 6 weeks, then have class again for 7 more weeks. My clinicals will rotate between an in-patient unit, an out-patient unit, and a rehabilitation center. How cool is that?

I have a list of purchases I need to make. One of which is a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. Man I wish I had paid better attention in physiology. We had a lab where we took blood pressure readings and I could never the thumping and whooshing sounds. Today I borrowed a kit from a guy at work, I'm determined to get this thing down before class!

I got my books yesterday. They all have titles like "Kinetic Anatomy", and "Guide to range of motion". One is an anatomy coloring book, I think I can handle that one.

We all know the story dad tells of how Tamara cried before Kindergarten because it was going to be hard. Then Tamara cried before 1st grade because it was going to be harder than kindergarten. Then Tamara cried before 2nd grade because it was going to be harder..and so on all the way through high school. Some of you (mom, dad, Shaleen...) even know that I did in fact cry the first week of my anatomy class (which I got an A in the end) last fall...well, I am bound determined not to start this semester out with tears. Who knows where this path is going to take me...what I do know is that I'm right where I need to be and I am excited to see what is around the corner.

Joining the rest of the world....time to get with it! Stay tuned world...